May 142014

Flipping SentencesFlipping SentencesFlipping Sentences


Flipping SentencesFlipping SentencesFlipping SentencesFlipping sentences, reversing sentences or writing your introductory sentences as concluding sentences in a paragraph is a common problem I see with my students. Flipping sentences can also occur in the first two sentences of a paragraph. It was also a problem with my own writing before I embarked on my thesis. It wasn’t until I was given feedback by my supervisors that I realised what I was actually doing wrong. I was flipping sentences. Rather than writing good, strong topic sentences, I was hiding these within the paragraph, often as concluding sentences. Doing so leads to vague language, confused paragraphs, and all too often confusing sentences with more than one idea making an unwelcome appearance. Since then I’ve made an effort to discuss with my students how this problem presents itself, and how it can be resolved. Having this problem with my writing pointed out to me and corrected has improved the ease and proficiency of my writing no end. And I’m hoping it will improve your writing as well.


The Problem and Cause

Flipping sentences is a legacy from when we are taught to write. The narrative, story telling approach to writing that we develop from a young age encourages us not to write up front – to hide conclusions, to present a mystery to the reader, and only to provide a resolution after all information has been presented (in some cases at least). From this a habit of writing without telling the reader what is actually happening ahead of time, or has happened, can develop.

Academic writing is different. Academic writing demands that we state what we are saying up front. For the most part, we aren’t telling a story; we are telling a factual account or explaining a critical analysis. And it’s this element which students (and myself) have the most trouble in getting their heads around.

It’s not simply a matter of stating conclusions up front. It’s a little more of an art-form than that. And you will find the best, particularly scientific writers, are able to write their topic sentences fluidly – giving you just enough information to know what their thesis or argument is, without giving away the conclusions. But at the same time, giving you enough information to know what the paragraph will be about.

As with everything, changing a writing technique, or knowing how to employ an academic writing technique takes a lot of practice.

With most forms of errors in writing, flipping sentences are hard to self diagnose. But students will often tell me some pointers that indicate they are flipping their sentences, even before I’ve looked at their work.



A classic case is being overly reliant on quotes in the topic sentence. I tell my students that I don’t want to see references or quotes in the topic sentence, if it can be helped. There is a place for it, but not in most paragraphs.

I will often hear that students are continually concluding paragraphs with a question. Posing questions as a concluding sentence is a classic example of what is most likely a topic sentence. I don’t like seeing questions written in academic papers – they should be answered, argued and explained. The questions raised should be intuitive, and flow from one paragraph to the next. This issue of leading into another paragraph is especially if they raise a counterpoint.

Another piece of consistent feedback will be that the language is too conversational, vague or non-academic. Often, this feedback is ignored because the student doesn’t know exactly what to do with it, or about how to change it.

For me, I know when I’m flipping sentences when I get feedback such as, “repetition in consecutive sentences”. I don’t notice this myself. When I’m writing I feel as though I’m elucidating subtle differences. But what it actually is, is that I’m not clear enough, active enough and positive enough to state my topic sentence clearly. For me it leads to a lack of succinctness and accuracy in detail which is a great skill to have if you can pull it off.

When flipping sentences between the first and second sentences within a paragraph, it shows a lack of confidence in what is being said. What I have found in my own writing is that I know what it is that I should say in the topic sentence, but I lack the confidence and authority to be able to state it up front. And I notice this with my students as well. I’m often telling my students to have confidence in what they are saying. Sometimes, we should listen to our own advice.

All of these symptoms (and possibly more) are the result of flipping sentences, and can be corrected by employing the use of appropriate topic and concluding sentences.


Tips to Improve and Correct Flipping Sentences

As with all things, the most effective way to improve writing is to practice. But there are some ways that I have been able to correct my own writing, and the writing of my students.

It is a little more advanced than simply knowing what a paragraph structure looks like, you must be able recognise what each of the elements does. However, most students do know this and require more corrective instruction, rather than outlines and generic formulas.

The first tip is to eliminate any conjunctions in the first sentence of a paragraph. Words like and, but, or join two parts of a sentence together. In the topic sentences, these words have a tendency to create passive language, confuse the writer, the reader, and often lead to a messy paragraph. By eliminating the conjunctions in the first paragraph, the writer is likely to say what the paragraph is actually about, and then explain appropriately from there.

A tip to tackle this problem is to reformulate the topic sentence.  By reading out loud, you will begin to eliminate extraneous words, shorten sentences and write how it should be read.

If you feel it necessary to have a conjunction in the first sentence, first consider if the second topic is worthy of another paragraph, and then link them – rather than potentially messing up one clear paragraph.

Avoid vague descriptors in paragraphs, but especially in the topic sentence! Words like very, many, most, some will lead to passive language. These words can point to something important, so back it up with statistics or a reference – be forceful and active by taking out these words. If it requires further specification, move it to the second or supporting sentence and write another topic sentence introducing the topic of the statistic.

Remove references and quotes from first sentences. On occasions, using references and quotes can work in a topic sentence. But generally, as a marker, I want to see that students can explain the concept, topic or element of the work in their own words. Referencing and quoting detracts from that. When I’m under time constraints to mark and grade papers, if a student has placed quotes and references in each of their topic sentences, immediately I’m looking to place their grade in the middle of the pack.

And what to do with posing questions in an essay, especially as concluding sentences in a paragraph? There are multiple ways this issue can be tackled and corrected. The question rewritten as a solution can be used as the next paragraph’s topic sentence. The question, rewritten as a problem can be used as that paragraph’s topic sentence. And it can be stated as such. If you feel a question needs to be raised, it’s often a signal that the topic hasn’t been clearly explained, it lacks detail, or it hasn’t been fully argued.

Academic writing is a process of presenting, critiquing and arguing. Once a student is into the body of their work, questions raised should almost become intuitive to the reader. It’s fantastic when I’m reading a journal article, or book, and I think, “But what about this?” And without even posing the question, the author is able to tackle the question; the points raised or further explain. It is a hard skill to achieve, but when I see students that have been able to master this art, I do feel as if they “get it”.

I’ll write in upcoming addition about tips to produce high quality introductions. In that, I state there should be a justification for what it is that is being done. If a question is to be raised, it should be in there. Different pieces of work are different, but most undergraduate assessment pieces should follow that structure.

Answers, explanations, critiques and premises of that question are then expected to be unpacked through the assessment. If a student has a persistent problem with posing questions throughout the work, I would suggest listing these questions at the beginning of the paper, and analysing which are most beneficial to be stated there, as a way of shaping and structuring the paper.

Repetition, my own writing problem when flipping sentences, is solved by a drill that I work out. I delete the first two sentences of a paragraph that contain repetition, and I write one. Sometimes it is necessary then to rewrite the paragraph, but so be it. It makes my paragraphs more concise, succinct, to the point, active and confident. These are all things that I want to be aiming for when I write, and when I’m trying to eliminate flipping sentences.

What have you found helpful when rewriting topic sentences? What symptoms do you notice in your writing when you experience some of these symptoms? Let me know, and I’ll lend some assistance in the next writing tips post.

May 122014


PrecariatRecently I wrote about my experience in the Precariat, and it seemed to generate a lot of interest and some discussion away from the blog. It appears to speak to a narrative which is quite hard to navigate, and is fraught with racist and xenophobic undertones which threaten to hide legitimate issues requiring discussion. It just so happens that after expressing my opinion of the 457 Visa system as being a rort, and scammed by many employers, that in the last week or so, an alleged organised crime racket has been exposed for allegedly abusing 457 workers. This unfortunately for the 457 workers involved, puts them in an extremely precarious position – the worst kind of Precariat situation imaginable.


As I have discovered recently through some twitter debates, the issue gets quite heated, and responses to insecure work in Australia can quickly degenerate and appeal to racist elements in the community. One such representation of this is recent union advertising, pointing out that 457 workers “took our jobs” and that these jobs belong to “us”. Despite the fact that unions do help uncover 457 visa abuses, and help 457 obtain better working conditions and entitlements, this is an unwelcome response to an issue that is tricky enough to navigate as it is.


Language such as “us” and “them” when talking about foreign workers, immigrants and so on is inherently xenophobic. Australia has a pretty horrible history with such language and policy responses, going back to mining days in the early goldfields, Asian immigration in the north of Australia and the response with the White Australia Policy.


What is missing, and what was pointed out by others in the debate, is worker solidarity. In a globalised world, insecure employment is an issue impacting upon young workers almost everywhere in the developed and undeveloped world. And the response must be global. The issues facing young workers in Australia are undoubtedly faced by the workers coming to Australia on 457 visas in their own economies. But it makes no sense to create more problems in other countries – the movement of skilled labour internationally is a huge false economy and a massive cost faced by the host social systems and structures, not borne by the corporations that create them.


Those who were a part of the conversation that lead to this post were quite right in arguing that the correct response should be to improve the working conditions, pay rates and improved employment across the board in the host countries.


It is the lack of accountability on companies and businesses which leads to inappropriate employment practices and the lack of up-skilling of workers in developed countries, right around the world.


It is precisely because companies do not have to provide adequate pay, conditions and training that enable 457 Visa rorts. If companies were only allowed to work 457 visa holders to 40 hours a week, at the market rate of pay, the incentive to employ, train and invest in local workers is increased. In my opinion, it is only because of these factors that make 457 workers attractive to employers. For every worker on a 457, there is probably another half a full time job that they are doing, that could be done by someone else. This is not an acceptable situation. We do not have full employment and we have an alarming increase in our youth unemployment. These problems could be addressed with increased training and investment by companies.


The other issue is the abuse of the sponsorship and visa provisions. Unions, and I think everyone should argue that is employed on an ongoing basis should be given something akin to permanent residency. The fact that the employer holds the employees citizenship rights, is a naturally abusive power imbalance. The power imbalance is what undoubtedly leads to worker abuse and the sort of practice I explained in the previous post. I don’t think 457 workers would be prepared to lie in legal documents if they knew they could go elsewhere. As it is, employers can force 457 workers to sign documents wrongfully showing their working hours. An unwillingness to sign such a document, or to work illegal, exploitative and abusive hours is likely to see a dismissal and deportation.


By ensuring that all workers have appropriate rights to stay in Australia means that employers will have to ensure that they are well looked after and remunerated. I’m sure many companies who struggle to attract and retain Australian workers face their shortages because they are such poor places to work. If their 457 workforce were to be able to leave, it would ensure that their employment practices are appropriate – otherwise their shortages would continue. The 457 process hides failings within the employment practice that are unwilling to be addressed by the companies. Ironic, given the reasons many companies give to hiring foreign workers – laziness, incompetence, lack of skills etc of Australian workers.


Thanks to an earlier discussion, there is a way forward on this issue that can positively impact change that is not xenophobic or racist. Tactics employed by the unions in this area are counterproductive and as so often with the union movement, tarnish the good things that unions do. The focus should move to improving conditions for all workers, changing the working residency status for workers and improving employment and up skilling practices. Not only would this be better for 457 workers, but also increase the chances of Australians attaining work, and a more skilful, harmonious and loyal workforce.

Feb 272014
Los/ Las Parados/as in Malaga
Los/ Las Parados/as in Malaga*

 I’ve been to Spain twice and absolutely loved it. I have found the crisis in Spain to be horrible, but absolutely fascinating. The political graffiti is amazing and the level of discontent and level of unemployment in Spain is something completely foreign to my generation. I wrote about it after travelling most of the country in 2011. But I have not had a place to publish it until now.

On the other side of the world, a unique situation is unfolding – being played out, unravelling – all behind the veil of another culture, another language. It is not apparent to our Australian eyes through the presentation of the media outlets of choice. The magnitude and the scale is not even entirely apparent to those most affected – the Spanish citizenry. One of Europe’s largest economies is in serious trouble, yet serious trouble in a different form to what we are presented with. Away from the glib, catch-all phrases we are occasionally given, more troubling issues are afoot that have semblance to underlying issues within the Australia economy, and society in general. It is almost a parallel universe that Australia has narrowly avoided, which Australia has the ability to avoid into the future. “La Crisis” (as it is known in Spain) is ongoing; whereas for Australia, it has passed. But it could have been so much different.

When you visit Spain, you encounter a country that is European, yet vastly different – proudly different. It is almost scornful of its position within European society, fighting to be a recluse from outsiders and perceived threats to the Spanish way of life. This has a long tradition in Spain, which it is fighting to overcome. Franco took Spain into a hermit’s lodging and it has been trying to come down the mountain ever since; except that outsiders love Spain: its culture, its food, its sights and its landscape give visitors a smorgasbord of options for reasons to go there and to come back. Spain has failed to make the most of these links beyond the superficial, thereby paying a horrible price that will certainly hinder any recovery.

The failings in regards to the lack of forged links are fundamentally responsible for the problems the Spanish economy and society now find themselves in. The reclusiveness and lack of inquisitiveness into other cultures strikes you as bizarre when you encounter it. Compared to other countries in Europe, their understanding of language (apart from Spanish and the regional language) is poor and there does not seem to be an emphasis on changing this. Other countries in the north of Europe have excellent multi-lingual capacity and, for the most part, their economies have rebounded since the first GFC. Their societies do not remain closed and the adaptability of their role in the context of the European situation is backed by their ability to generate business connections, which are largely due to their education, language skills and the type of global citizenry that creates.

Yet, Spain is a country that is in Europe. Like Australia, it has not recently been towed by tug boat into the region it now finds itself. But the behaviour of both countries, and both cultures, seems particularly alike in that both want to be a part of their region only to enjoy the successes, yet not be fundamentally involved in the drivers of the underlying culture that provide the benefits. How many Australians actively attempt to understand cultures in our greater region? How many Australians know any words of the languages that surround us in our region? What relevance over the long term do we provide to our region? What is the relevance of Australia in our region? Are we just the net cord in a game of tennis, or will we decide as a nation to pick up a racquet? What are we doing strategically to make sure we are relevant in our own region – aside from those strategies which are easiest and convenient?

An example of the plentiful political graffiti

An example of the plentiful political graffiti

One of the most striking examples of what can go wrong when you do not develop answers to these questions is in Andalucía. El Andalus, literally ‘The Paradise’ in Arabic, is one of Spain’s autonomous regions. It is in serious financial and social trouble. With an unemployment rate of 28 percent and a youth unemployment rate well above 50 percent, there is growing discontent and a huge build-up of anger. Protests in each of the large cities are a daily occurrence, and the dislocation of young people from their places of origin is a massive concern. The most educated and most talented young people are moving in large numbers to Madrid, or to Barcelona, or overseas from places such as Malaga that will, in the future, need these brains. As was seen in Perth in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and has been seen in South Australia over a longer period of time, these future leaders of society return in often vastly reduced numbers.

What is left is the parados – quite literally, the do-nothing people – the unemployed without work and without the ability to work.

This failure also stinks. In Seville, a plenitude of horse-drawn carriages moves about the city taking tourists on scenic tours; except that the local authority does not have the money to adequately clean the resulting faecal material up. Nothing says the current crisis in Spain quite like Seville – if you look.  Sure, there might be endless empty apartments and dilapidated construction sites on the Costa del Sol; although Seville does have that as well – on the river front, which you cannot access because of building sites which have long since been abandoned. But Seville faces a crisis, different to how we envisage it. It is a crisis of relevance. It is a crisis of xenophobia, of introverted regionalism and the paralysis that that causes. An annoyance to longer term visitors or migrants to the area is the lack of choices in the food. This city of one million people has only two Japanese restaurants. Sure, it sounds trivial, but it is emblematic of the problem that Andalucía has: A complete inability to explore outside their narrow culture, to embrace outside influences and to shun the rest of the world entirely.  And now, because of ‘la crisis’, outsiders will wield influence and power over the region’s fate, and what was most at risk in the minds of Andalucians – the loss of identity and culture – may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Madrid Protest, Unemployment, Euro, Spain

One of the many large protests in Madrid in 2011

The incredible despair being experienced has given rise to a political movement amongst students, the youth and generally anyone disaffected by the political structure of Spain – the ‘Indignados’ (literally the “unhappy people” or “people with indignation”).  Holding local meetings to take to broader meetings, they hope to form a type of self-government which is a throwback to elements of anarchist Spain in the 1930s. We have come to know these types as the 99%. But the 99% lack the basis for a large groundswell, unlike the Indignados. Unfortunately for them, the same problems that inflicted anarchists in the 1930s are likely to come out in droves this time around as well. Petty squabbling amongst the regions, amongst small areas of the country, is the problem and not the solution. Consensus politics is not an easy task when the starting point is myopic, removing the larger context. This is a slightly different situation to the Catalan independence movement which has its origins in political, economic, social, cultural and linguistic repression from other parts of Spain.

So what can Australia learn from a country that has failed so comprehensively to make the connections with the culture that surrounds it? Put simply, a lot. Australia is already a multicultural country. Despite the framing of the recent white paper (the Asian Century), which puts Australia alongside Asia and not inherently within it, we are a part of Asia and not apart from it. Australia already has many successful business and cultural links with Asia, and so Australia has an advantageous starting point to build from.

So what are the risks to Australia if we turn away from the culture that we are a part of? The greatest risk is that Australia fails to make the cultural connections to establish long and lasting economic links. We should not think for a moment that a one-sector economy will see us on a never-ending path to prosperity. The Spanish property market is a prime example of what can happen when that happens. We must use our resources to leverage greater cultural and economic links with the region we are a part of – and language is the key to doing so. But I don’t see this happening and we are falling into the same trap that the Spanish have, in regards to property speculation and reliance on construction.

The learning of languages is where the problem lies. We have not yet found a way to successfully teach indigenous languages whilst engaging students to learn English. It is reported that when a bilingual Australia was proposed to Kevin Rudd at the 2020 summit in 2008, he said: ‘Cost too much money.’ The problems of learning languages and culture in Australia are a mirror of our internal policy and politics, which is then reflected into the region around us. We do not have a way of demonstrating cultural understanding internally to be used as a model to then learn cultures outside of our own.

The solution is in the hands of our leaders, both politically and institutionally. Educators have a role to play in the development of our kids to be citizens of the region, and of the world. Business must demand that politicians ensure that the teaching of culture and Asian languages is continuous in our school system. In the face of political change and policy upheaval with cultural connections, it is up to school leaders to fill the void. It is not simply an education, foreign affairs or economics policy issue, it is one and the same. Our failure to understand it is such, is a blight on our country.

After all, what relevance do we have in the region once the mining boom has finished? Are our next generation going to be parados? Or will they inherit their own paradise?


*Thanks to Ester from Villa Alicia Guest House in Malaga for use of this image. If you are in southern Spain, drop by. She was great to talk to about these things, and gave me some wonderful travelling tips. (I haven’t received any payment for this promotion, just want to reward a good experience.)